You had to know it was coming out of the archive…
It's that time of year again in San Francisco - the stretch of a handful of days during which I try my best not to look down too much in public, for fear of seeing some gnarly man feet resembling hairy talons clinched to a pair of Rainbows. Thank goodness the forecast looks to be showing some cooling trends starting on Tuesday, since Monday's reading on the SF Weather Advisory System was: SEVERE.
San Franciscans can empathize.
I was at Whole Foods the other day being generally snobby and buying some nutritious fuel for a certain high powered athlete and her ruggedly handsome trophy husband. The troubling amount of man feet I was forced to look at made me so nauseous I could barely locate the $7 kombucha my dear athlete loves so much.
Dear SF (grown, adult, gainfully employed, not in college anymore) men - really?! Can we please retire the flip-flops as acceptable urban footwear, or at least reduce them to beach/pool/tropical vacation/public shower duty as they were intended? I mean, really... it's not like it's 100 degrees out there (Editor’s Note: OK, this time it actually was). I get it, it's nice out. How about a nice canvas sneaker, or loafer, or boat shoe? Anything. Please. And no, man sandals (AKA "mandals") are not okay and I don't care if they're Dolce & Gabbana - this isn't Europe, regardless of whether or not you insist on telling me "ciao" when we leave each other's presence, or sign-off all your emails with "cheers." You don't see me trying to kiss your wife goodbye on both cheeks, so cut it out with the Italian designer leather excuse for wearing what is, in effect, a high end flip flop. The linen man-pri pants should probably stay on the rack at Loehman's as well. THAT'S WHY THEIR MEN'S STORE CLOSED, DUDE. Or, let's make a deal, just clip your toenails like you've seen your feet in the last month - then maybe I won't feel like I'm losing my $11 kale chips the wrong way (Editor's note when re-reading this: I don't actually eat kale chips but it seemed fitting at the time for dramatic effect).
OK, end of grumpy old man rant (almost). I'm officially a curmudgeon. What can I say, I'm not a fan of the man feet. If cargo shorts are the Nickelback of men's clothing then flip flops are the Dave Matthews Band - we're not late for Chem Lab and neither of us has a Scarface poster on our wall anymore. So take a few minutes and put some shoes on, big dawg, so we can hang out and I won't have to pretend I don't know you.
Ladies, on the other hand, keep it up. You look fabulous, especially when it's warm outside - just make sure to hit those heels with some moisturizer, ain't nobody got time for ashy. Don't let the calloused hands fool you.
WOD For 06-11-19:
Tempo Back Squat:
3-3-3-3 @ 31X1
*If you’re new to tempo lifting then I’ve included an explanation below to help guide you.
On a Running Clock Set For 12 Minutes:
1 Minute of Double Unders
1 Minute of Dumbbell Snatches @ 50/35 lbs (alternate)
2 Minutes of Double Unders
2 Minutes of Dumbbell Snatches
3 Minutes of Double Unders
3 Minutes of Dumbbell Snatches
Record reps for each set.
(Workout courtesy of CrossFit.com)
***Tempo lifting may be a new concept to some, and since we'll be using tempo back squats in Tuesday's class here's some basic info on the practice courtesy of a blog post excerpt from the good folks at Invictus:
Tempo prescriptions come in a series of four numbers representing the times in which it should take to complete four stages of the lift. In a workout, the tempo prescription will follow the assigned number of reps, such as:
Front Squat x 2-3 reps @ 30X0
The First Number – The first number refers to the lowering (eccentric) phase of the lift. Using our front squat example, the 3 will represent the amount of time (in seconds) that it should take you to descend to the bottom of the squat. (The first number always refers to the lowering/eccentric phase, even if the movement begins with the ascending/concentric phase, such as in a pull-up.)
The Second Number – The second number refers to the amount of time spent in the bottom position of the lift – the point in which the lift transitions from lowering to ascending. In our front squat example, the prescribed 0 means that the athlete should reach the bottom position and immediately begin their ascent. If, however, the prescription was 32X0, the athlete would be expected to pause for 2 seconds at the bottom position.
The Third Number – The third number refers to ascending (concentric) phase of the lift – the amount of time it takes you to get to the top of the lift. Yes, I am aware that X is not a number. The X signifies that the athlete should EXPLODE the weight up as quickly as possible. In many cases, this will not be very fast, but it is the intent that counts – try to accelerate the weight as fast as you can. If the third number is a 2, it should take the athlete 2 seconds to get the lift to the top regardless of whether they are capable of moving it faster.
The Fourth Number – The fourth number refers to how long you should pause at the top of the lift. Take, for example, a weighted pull-up prescription of 20X2, the athlete would be expected to hold his or her chin over the bar for two seconds before beginning to come down.
Counting – It seems silly to even mention how to count seconds, but I have heard many clients audibly count to 4 in less than one second while under a heavy load. So, to ensure that your 4 second count and mine are the same, use “one thousands,” as in: 1-one thousand, 2-one thousand, 3-one thousand, 4-one thousand.