It started innocently enough a month ago, and spiraled into the sort of mystery that captivates an entire community. It's the stuff Emmy Award-winning miniseries are made of - the kind that serious film actors take a chance on, and risk tarnishing their careers on the small screen. It's the MYSTERY OF THE 2016 WATER FILTER SIGNS.
During the first week of December many started to notice the brand new, attention-grabbing signs on the gym's FloWater filter... bright orange and green neon card stock, KAPOW starburst cut-out shapes, and hand-made laminate - the work of a true artisan. The handwriting was clearly Sarah's (or so it appeared) - the excessive punctuation, careful use of underlined CAPS font, and multiple courteous uses of "Please" were an exact copy of the old sign they replaced (its tattered edges, faded ink, and stained tape showing the wear of a thankless job). BUT ALAS, Sarah had not created the signs, and she was baffled at the fact that her handwriting had been so accurately forged - to the point where she actually asked herself several times "Wait, DID I make those signs?! Is that ACTUALLY MY handwriting?!"
No, of course you didn't make them, dear. We have neither the card stock nor the patience required for such a crafty endeavor.
The forgery of Sarah's handwriting is so good that it's eerie
The realization that some stealthy person, likely a member at Arena Ready, crafted these important pieces of public notice with such great care and purpose - and did so with no fanfare or expectation of accolades - filled my heart with pure glee. AND A BURNING CURIOSITY.
We took to the interwebs, posting to the Arena Ready private Facebook group. And as a result, the storm of conspiracy theories from well over a hundred people began...
136 comments and counting. Looking for a good mystery novel for your next read? Just read the comment string of this Facebook post instead - it's full of twists and turns, surprising suspects, convincing denials, and impressive character development.
Class QoDs were asked surrounding the mystery - everything from flat out "DID YOU MAKE THE SIGNS?!" to "Please state who you think made the signs...". The 136 comments on Facebook (and still growing) wove a web of theories incriminating more than a dozen suspects - those with crafty tendencies, those who are or were school teachers, those who like to mess with Rob on a regular basis, those who service the machine, etc. Even a theory that I (Rob) made them and then proceeded to act like I didn't know anything about them, all in an effort to stir up a ridiculous game of CLUE at the gym, was a popular sentiment at one point. Word of the mystery spread and the legend of the water filter signs grew at an incredible rate - these little neon signs of hope were probably the most enduring topic of conversation in the last 4.5 years.
Over the holidays I tried explaining the saga to a handful of people (on separate occasions) who are not members at Arena Ready, complete with dramatic pauses and contextual backstory for full effect. Never before had I been looked at with such judging and confused eyes - these people had no idea of the gravity of this mystery. A COMMUNITY OF WONDERFUL PEOPLE ARE ON THE EDGES OF THEIR SEATS AND YOU'RE LOOKING AT ME LIKE I'M A CRAZY PERSON!!?? How dare you.
The "AR 12 Days of CrossFit" came and went, and so too did a relatively quiet holiday week at the gym. New Year's Eve meant the last of our holiday WOD traditions - "The Chief" - and I was looking forward to a rare day away from Arena Ready. Before closing the doors for 2016 I was handed a few cards and birthday envelopes (I felt truly spoiled), and among them was a handmade brown package tied artfully with winter-themed twine. I told myself I would wait until we got home before I opened the cards and packages and so on we went, not knowing the incredible piece of history I held in my hands.
Little did I know what awaited me...
From none other than the "2016 Rookie of The Year" during the CFG Open at Arena Ready...
No. No, we can't, Yami. Not when your awesomeness reaches levels this high and intrigues what is perhaps the coolest, most caring, most amazing community of people out there...
2017 just started and "Well played, Yami" is already the understatement of the year.
PS - stay tuned for some words directly from the Holiday Mystery legend herself, Yami, in tomorrow's blog post.
PPS - The Annual Healthy Lifestyle Challenge is not cancelled, it's just a few days delayed, as Sarah's been sidetracked by kicking off "How to Paleo your Macros." If you're interested in the Healthy Lifestyle Challenge, keep mental track of your "stickers," and you'll have something to actually stick them on by Friday at the latest! If you're interested in How to Paleo your Macros, contact Sarah.
WOD for 01-03-17:
Power Snatch + Squat Snatch:
5 Sets of (1+1)
For Time @ 115/75 lbs:
30 Power Snatches
30 Power Clean & Push Jerks
(Compare to 01-04-16)